Planning your family is something that is so personal and can be challenging. Choosing the right times to have kids and the right times to not have kids is hard enough, but choosing contraception during the times that pregnancy is not desired can also be stressful.
We are here to help you have open lines of communication with your partner while you discuss your desires and plans.
Once you are ready for a more permanent form of contraception, we are here to provide you with anything and everything you need to know about a vasectomy!
Preparing for the Conversation
Understanding Personal Goals
Before you start the family planning conversation with your partner, you should first take some time to self-reflect on your own wishes. Do you want children? When do you want children? At what point would you decide you are done having children? Once you decide that you are done, how will you know that you won’t change your mind? These are all important questions to ask yourself.
Once you decide that you are for sure not interested in having any more children, long-term contraception is on the table and permanent sterilization should be considered. Make sure that this decision is one that you are ready to make not only for your family, but for yourself. As long as you are confident in your own desires, this will help limit or hopefully eliminate any feelings of regret down the line.
Choosing the Right Time and Setting
Contraception and family planning is a serious matter and should be done under the right circumstances. It should be a conversation between you and your partner without distractions, so we recommend choosing a private location where there would be minimal and infrequent distractions. You want to make sure that you have set aside enough time to have a thoughtful conversation.
Make sure you are both in the right headspace to have this conversation. Stressful day at work? Annoyed that the house isn’t tidy? Got a flat tire on the way home from the store? Probably should save this conversation for another time!
Once you are ready, you should both be prepared to talk about what you want and possibly even be prepared to discuss ways that you are willing to compromise.
Initiating the Conversation
Starting with Mutual Goals
You should start the conversation with things that you both agree on. Try to get to a place where you agree on common goals. If your goals align, then it is a little bit easier to talk through the differences in how to achieve that goal.
As long as you have a mutual understanding, love, and respect for eachother, figuring out the rest will be less challenging.
Discussing Contraceptive Options
There are so many different types of contraception from hormonal birth control, barrier birth control, implants, and permanent sterilization. For women, this involves tubal ligation which is a surgery that involves general anesthesia in the operating room to either tie off or remove the fallopian tubes. For men, this involves a vasectomy. We will mainly focus on vasectomy for the remainder of this article, but if you check out our blog, we have other articles that directly compare these two procedures!!
Now, how exactly does a vasectomy work? It is an office-based procedure that involves the removal of a piece of the vas deferens, which is the tube that carries the sperm to the ejaculate. This involves one small incision in the scrotum, depending on the surgeon. Some local anesthetic with or without light sedation in the office is typically given. The whole thing takes about an hour in the office. You have 1-2 days of rest, followed by light activity for about a week. After that, normal activity can slowly be resumed.
It is a permanent form of sterilization, which is beneficial because once you go through the procedure, recover, and clear your ejaculate of sperm, you don’t have to worry about contraception again!
Navigating Different Perspectives: Considering Vasectomy as an Option
Exploring Benefits of Vasectomy
A vasectomy is one of the most effective forms of contraception. The failure rate is between 7 and 11 pregnancies per 1000 procedures, which makes it about 99% effective. It is a relatively lower risk procedure as it does not require a general anesthetic. It is minimally invasive and office based. Additionally, the recovery time is generally pretty quick as you would be able to ease back into your normal activity about 2-3 weeks after the procedure.
Because a vasectomy is a single procedure, the long term benefit speaks for itself. There is no long term worry about buying condoms, having an implant inserted/removed every several years in the female partner, worry about hormonal birth control pills in the female partner, etc. This makes it cost effective, not only financially but in regards to time as well.
Addressing Concerns and Questions
There are a few common misconceptions or concerns regarding vasectomies.
A big concern is how a vasectomy might impact sexual function. You might be surprised to learn that couples find that it improves sexual function. This is thought to be related to being able to have sex without worrying about pregnancy.
A misconception is that it can/should be used as a temporary form of contraception. While a vasectomy can be reversed, success is not guaranteed. Additionally, a vasectomy reversal is a procedure that requires general anesthesia in an operating room which inherently has more risk than a vasectomy itself. No one should get a vasectomy with definitive plans to “just have it reversed” when you’re ready to have kids in the future.
Another misconception is that a vasectomy is effective immediately. This is not true. While we do take a piece of the vas deferens, It takes time for the sperm to clear out of the rest of the tube. It takes about 50 ejaculations before we test the semen to make sure there are no sperm left.
Making an Informed Decision
By doing your research and taking the time to discuss everything thoroughly together, you can make the most informed and best decision for your family. An open mind is key to understanding your partner’s thoughts and opinions on why certain forms of contraception may be better or worse compared to others.
Online research and reading blogs like this can be super helpful. But it is also helpful to just meet with a healthcare provider in person to discuss everything. A consultation visit does not mean that you are automatically locked in and can’t back out. It is an opportunity to meet with a provider and hear the information directly from the expert. Information you see on the internet is generalizable whereas meeting with a provider would allow you to have a conversation and hear about why a vasectomy would be the right decision for you and your family specifically.
We have so many resources on our Purely Vasectomies Website and blog posts that probably answer questions you didn’t even think about! But feel free to schedule a consultation and have a discussion with a provider that you can trust as well.
